Counterfeit vault
Merch That Should Not Exist
Souvenirs from the Nixon timeline split. Everything is hand-schemed, rarely produced, and probably glows.
Nixon 2.0 Battle Jacket
PrototypingDenim lined with photocopied FOIA files, glow piping, and tear-away diplomacy patches.
AIM Pager Relic
ToolingA clear-shell pager that just displays bad advice ticker quotes in VT323. Batteries sold separately.
Scandal Trading Cards
PrintingHolographic set featuring every Nixon clone spotted in the museum vault. Includes conspiracy stats.
Chaos Coin Token
CastingA heavy challenge coin for slamming on tables when someone suggests a sensible idea.
Gemini 2.5 Press Pass
EncryptingLenticular badge that flashes your latest AI-generated alibi whenever a camera points at you.
Send proof of interest (screenshots, mixtapes, congressional subpoenas) to unlock early drops. We only ship after at least three omens agree.